A Season Of Wondering

Before my conversion, I would compare my life to wandering in the wilderness. I was wandering in a hopelessness that I had created through disobedience. My life was aimless and without purpose. I was lost and without hope. But then one day someone threw me a lifeline, and I literally jumped at the opportunity to receive Christ as my Savior. Suddenly hope flooded my spirit and God began to show me that He had a plan and a purpose for my life. He began to expose the treasure that was buried deep inside of me.

I use to put on this façade of being tough and having a don’t care attitude. But when Christ came into my heart, He began to melt away the hardness and I began to love people. Oh yes, I have been hurt, even devastated at times, but Christ showed me that when we make a decision to love people, we will be hurt, but we can’t let that stop us because he has commanded us to love one another. Not only that, but He demonstrated His love towards us by going to the cross. God’s word is the only thing that keeps me going.

Consider my Jewish brethern who wandered in the wilderness for 40 years-going around and around the same mountain. Just think-if they had only obeyed the Lord, they could have reached the Promise Land in 11 days. I myself wandered in the desert for 28 1/2 years. Somehow I knew that there was something better, but I just didn’t know how to attain it. Often I wondered why I had to make all the dumb mistakes that I made before Jesus found me-you see I didn’t choose Him, He chose me. But thank God he found me when he did. Cause I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was going down the same road, doing the same dumb things and ending up back in the same place I started-sound familiar? (Insanity)

Thank God that Christ died to give us a hope and a future. We don’t have to live waiting to die, but with God’s help, we can fulfill everything that he has ordained for us.

Holly Berry

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