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Seven Myths That Hurt Young Women - Part One


Are you buying into the world's lies about your appearance, your body, relationships or sex? You could be and you don't even realize it. Authors Shannon Ethridge and Steve Arterburn identify several common myths and discuss what the Bible says about them.

Myth 1 – How I dress is my business. It shouldn’t be a concern for God or guys.

Before you believe that your wardrobe isn’t an issue with God, try this scripture on for size: Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for [her] to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around [her] neck than for [her] to cause [another] to sin.” (Luke 17:1-2) 

When guys see something sexually stimulating, such as a young woman dressed immodestly, their natural tendency is to lust after her and entertain thoughts of becoming sexual with her. It doesn’t matter whether the guy is a Christian or not. Even godly guys can be visually tempted to lust. If you want to avoid causing your brothers to stumble and fall, you’ll dress modestly.

Myth 2 – All flirting is OK.

You may think it’s always OK to flirt, but that may be because you don’t understand what inappropriate flirting feels like to a guy. Letting a boy know that you are interested in a more meaningful relationship with him is one thing, but inappropriate flirting, which can also be called “teasing” or “seduction,” is another. Should you emotionally or physically stir up a guy if you have no intention of pursuing a relationship with him? Is it loving to tease someone with your attentions and affections if you have no desire to fulfill any hopes you may arouse in him? In our opinion, showing a sincere love and respect for others allows no room for acting as if you are interested in being sexual with a guy when, in fact, you are not.

Myth 3 – I need to have a boyfriend to feel as if I am “somebody.”

Having a boyfriend will solve all my problems. Newsflash. If you think you need a boyfriend, you are not ready for a boyfriend. Contrary to the movie scenes you may have witnessed where one character declares to the other, “You complete me!” no human being can ever complete another. Only God can “complete” you. Yet many young women try with all their power to find that special someone who will make them feel as if life is really worth living (as if living as a satisfied single person isn’t possible).

If either of the above statements describes you, we have some advice for you. Do yourself a favor and get a life! Not the fairy-tale life you are dreaming of where you meet a wonderful guy, fall in love, and live happily ever after in la-la land. You need to live in reality and recognize who God made you to be, and then do your best at being that person.

Myth 4 – Guys want basically the same thing from dating relationships that girls want.

Just in case you didn’t catch it before, let us say this loud and clear: Guys are motivated by an entirely different set of factors than girls are. Most of the time guys give love to get sex, but girls give sex to get love. Do you see what a dangerous combination this can be? We’re not saying that guys are pigs who only want sex. Many know their own vulnerabilities well enough to know better than to take a young woman behind closed doors if they aren’t able to control their sexual desires. But we are saying that God wired guys differently. They are built for visual stimulation. Their ultimate goal is physical intimacy. It’s just how they are made. It’s not that they don’t value or want emotional bonding; many do. But it isn’t their ultimate goal. 

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