Myth 5 – My love will save him. I
can change him.
Don’t make the mistake of dating a
guy who needs some major repair work before you could consider him marriage
material. Many young women are drawn to a guy’s wild, rebellious side and then
set out on a mission to mold him into the kind of man they really want him to
be. We hate to break it to you, but you can’t change or save anyone. Only God
is in the business of doing that successfully. The research has already been
done. A woman’s love does not change a broken man’s behavior. It only validates
it. Her love says to him, “You are OK the way you are!”
Myth 6 – I feel so sexually tempted,
I must already be guilty, so why bother resisting?
Satan loves to use false guilt,
convincing us to cross the line between temptation and sin with thoughts like
these:
"You can’t deny that you want
him! You may as well go after him!"
"You’ve already gone this far,
what’s one step further?"
"He already knows how you really
are, so there’s no use pretending to be a goody two-shoes!"
Satan uses thoughts like these to
cause you to feel guilty, but your guilt is false guilt because you have not
yet acted on your thoughts. You have been tempted to sin, but you have not yet
sinned.
When Jesus taught that thinking upon
sexual things is just as sinful as doing them (see Matthew 5:27-28), He was
referring to entertaining sexual thoughts over and over or intentionally fantasizing about someone in sexual
ways. There are thoughts that pop into our minds simply because we are human,
but we don’t have to entertain them or focus on them. We can distract ourselves
and resist these thoughts, just as we can resist any temptation.
Myth 7 – There’s no one who would
really understand my struggle.
We believe this myth exists because,
fearing judgment, girls usually don’t openly discuss their sex lives with other
females. Unfortunately, these fears are often confirmed very early in
childhood. For instance, one girl tells a friend about her secret crush on a
boy in their class. The friend inevitably whispers the secret to two other
friends, or worse, tells the boy all about the girl’s confession. If you went
through experiences like these, you may have learned to guard your deepest,
darkest secrets from other females.
Some girls grow up with guys as
their best friends because they feel so strongly that other girls simply cannot
be trusted. Many also find out the hard way that confiding in guys can be more
dangerous than confiding in a girlfriend. All a girl can do is betray your
confidence. A guy can take advantage of your vulnerability and make you his
next sexual target if you aren’t standing firm in your convictions.
It’s our hope that if you know how
common these issues are to young women, you won’t hesitate to discuss your own
sexual struggles with a trusted adult or a mature Christian girlfriend. We
believed 99.9 percent of all women face sexual temptations in varying degrees.
Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians
10:13: No temptation has seized you except what is common to [woman]. And
God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But
when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up
under it.
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