Jolie shared that at the age of 18 she was diagnosed with Ovarian Failure. She was devastated to learn she would never have children. Jolie was married at the time of her diagnosis, but the harsh reality of never having children plagued her marriage. Jolie began to believe her husband didn’t love her anymore. In fact, she would often tell him he had stopped loving her. The marriage ended in divorce after she discovered he had an affair. Jolie attributes the demise of her marriage to her inability to cope with the pain of not having children.
Jolie shared something only she and I and those who have experienced this can relate. Jolie talked about dealing with the death of
the dream of becoming pregnant, watching your body change and giving birth.
Immediately, I knew what she was going to say.
She talked about the grieving process.
I could tell we were both fighting back tears. It has been over ten years for Jolie and the
memory of that day still revisits her.
Only God knows…
It is hard to explain the depth
of pain you feel. It feels as if someone
died, except there is no funeral – no burial – no memories to cherish – no
pictures – nothing…Sometimes you feel as if you are going crazy because you actually
go through a grieving process. You have
no desire to talk with anyone about it, because you feel no one will
understand. And the last thing you want to hear is someone’s words of empathy,
feeling sorry for you or quoting scripture.
Jolie is now remarried and she and her husband
adopted a beautiful baby boy. The birth
mother was in a crisis situation and chose to place her baby up for
adoption. When I look at Jolie today, I
see a life restored. I see a woman whose heart was big enough to love a child
who did not grow under her heart, but in her heart. I enjoy watching videos
of her son playing T-ball and sliding into first base with Jolie screaming in
the back ground, “You go baby!”
Sometimes life does not turn out
the way we hope or dream. There are just
some things we have no control over, but the one thing we do have control over
is our attitude. Each day we must make the choice to live – to be happy – to keep moving forward. If what you hoped for did not work out, make new
plans – dream a new dream. Regardless of
your situation, it’s all up to you. It does not happen overnight. Moving
forward is a process. And when you finally
make that breakthrough, you will be the happier for it. If Jolie had remained in the pain of her
past, she may have never known her present joy.
Gods plan and purpose for our life is not
hindered by our situations or circumstances. We must trust Him even when we do
not understand. This is what faith is
all about. I am so thankful to Jolie for
sharing her story with me.
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